This is a rather lengthy sharing on God's many blessings during my trip back home.
One of my goals for Sept 30in30 this year was to give out all my tracts in September. When I signed up, I knew that I'd have to give out my last few tracts in Malaysia when I go back on the 24th. As the day drew closer, I began to worry...would I have the courage to give out tracts there? What would my family say if they see that? If they asked me not to give out tracts, would I listen to them?
My family's salvation has always been one of the prayers that's very close to my heart. A few months back, I began to feel that I had not done much for my family, i.e. in sharing the gospel with them, except praying for their salvation. Thoughts like...I serve in the old folks ministry, took part in city evangelism, etc., but what have I done for them? It weighed very heavily in my heart and I began contemplating and praying if I should go back for good. I shared this with brothers and sisters and I thank God for their encouragement and prayers. I was reminded that when we faithfully do the work of our Lord, our labour is not in vain in Him (1 Corinthians 15: 58)...that God can use us to bring His blessings upon other families. What I have to do is to continue to serve our Lord faithfully; He will take care of my family. I was further encouraged after reading Sept 30in30's 19th Sept devotion passage – 'The Right Kind of Preoccupation'...If we concern ourselves with His business, He concerns Himself with ours.
When it's time for me to fly home, anxiety crept in. How can I be of good testimony? How and where and to whom should I give the tracts? There were just so many things on my mind. For the first two days, although I constantly remembered Sept 30in30, I did not have the courage to give out tracts, convincing myself that I'd do it the next day. On the third day, I was already 3 tracts behind. I was convicted of not faithfully doing His work and was drifting further away from achieving my Sept 30in30's goal. I prayed for courage, guidance and the opportunity to give out tracts. The tracting opportunity came soon enough when I were to walk with my mum to the food centre near our house to get lunch take away. As we were walking out, I told my mum about Sept 30in30 and that I wanted to leave the tracts in our neighbours' mail boxes, but would have to make sure that I do not tract muslims (as it is illegal to do so). After explaining what I planned to do, I was kind of 'waiting' for my mum to 'stop' me from tracting. Imagine my surprise and delight when my mum began to point me to houses which I could leave the tracts. Thank God for making it easy for me to give out my first few tracts in Miri and more importantly, I think God that my mum did not discourage me from doing so.
My tracting stopped again for 2 days and by the 30th, I have 3 tracts remaining. During the Sunday service, the preaching was on evangelism; that our most valuable investment is to evangelise and bring people to Christ. The church had also planned a suburb evangelism that afternoon. I did not take part in the suburb evangelism, but was reminded of my remaining tracts, which I had the burden to give to my family members. When I got home, I gave tract #28 to my elder sister, whom I do not get to see often and have been praying for opportunity to share the gospel with her and her husband. Thank God she accepted it gladly and said that she'd read it on the plane when they return to Singapore the next day. I did not have much time left to share the gospel with them, so I gave them the tract hoping that I'd get to follow-up with them later.
I had the burden to give tract #29 to my dad. I prayed and prayed for courage to do so because to me, he's the hardest to tract. I was playing the piano in the study room and he was using the computer behind me. After praying for courage again, I turned and said, "Father, I have something for you to read." (yup...I call my dad 'Father').
Straight away he replied, "I don't read the Bible."
I replied, "No, I'm not asking you to read the Bible."
He repeated again, "I don't read the Bible."
I then said, "No, it's not a Bible. It's a small booklet. You must read it, ok? Ok? Ok...aah...Ok!"
He just looked at me and Iaughed a little...I "gave him no choice". I gave him the tract as we were leaving for dinner with our relatives. He put the tract in his pocket and while we were waiting for the dishes, he took it out and started to read, not just flipping it through. I truly did not expect him to read through it page by page. After he finished reading, my cousin asked him what he was reading and he passed it to her. My cousin began to read it while eating at the same time. She then passed it to her brother, who brought it home.
By the time we got home, I was still over the moon that my dad actually read the tract. I still had my last tract and was really encouraged and determined to achieve my Sept 30in30's goal. It was late and there wasn't anyone out and about, so I decided to take a walk and drop the last tract in one of the mail boxes. I told my family what I was going to do and was prepared to stand firm even if they persuade me not to. Once again, to my surprise, there were no discouragement from them at all and that my younger brother offered to drive me to drop off the tract, eventhough it'd just take less than 30 seconds walk. He said that he did not want me to be chased by dogs, but I still was really touched and thankful. As he drove, I told him about Sept 30in30 and which houses I had tracted. He began telling me that 2 of the houses I tracted were Christians and which other ones were as well. It was a short drive, but I am thankful for the time spent with him.
Later that night, my family had gone to bed. I stayed up to check my emails and update my logbook. My elder sister walked into the study room with a book to read as she could not sleep. My first thought was...this is it, my opportunity to share the gospel with her before she left for Singapore. I was a little nervous, not knowing how to witness to her, and prayed. I switched off the computer and talked to her. I could see that she knew what was coming. Thank God that she was very open and we talked for quite some time. While we were talking, she mentioned that she could see the change in me, that I'm different now. I was speechless...this was one of the things that had crossed my mind, ie. could my family see that I've changed or am I still the same person? I praise and thank God for His work in my life and that in some way, it's reflected in my everyday life during my stay in Miri.
Through my aunt's sharing the night before I left Miri, I also learnt of God's work on my grandparents, who practice ancestral and idol worshipping. They were really against Christianity, especially my grandma, who was really angry and upset when my aunt accepted Christ many years ago. In the past year, my grandpa has not been in good health. My aunt would invite her church pastor and sisters to visit my grandpa to share the gospel and pray for him. At first, as expected, my grandma was unhappy about that. Since then, seeing that my grandpa does not mind the visits, she's been more receptive. And recently, when she's unwell, she was also willing to sit with my aunt when she prayed for her. In the first week I got home, my aunt brought a gospel VCD in Hokkien home and watched it with both my grandparents. I do not know how much they understand the gospel, but I can see that God has softened their hearts and pray that He will continue to draw them to Him.
Another amazing thing that happened involved my younger sister and a book. One afternoon, while my younger sister and I were waiting in the car for my elder sister and her husband to buy some stuff, our conversation somehow changed to boy girl relationships. Immediately, my thought was that it's a good opportunity to bring in the gospel through the sharing about relationships and marriage God's way. During our conversation, I mentioned Joshua Harris's book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". My elder sister and her husband came back not too long after, so we stopped our conversation. The next day, I was in our bedroom (my younger sister and I shared a room) and for no reason, I glanced towards the bookshelf next to my bed. One book just caught my eye...there it was, a copy of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". I picked up the book excitedly and flipped through the first few pages and the last page to see who's book that was. There was no name. I knew it was not mine and was pretty sure it's not my younger sister's. I took the book, showed it to my sisters (both were in the study room) and asked if it belonged to either one of them. Both of them said that they'd not seen the book before. I told my younger sister that that was the book I referred to yesterday and passed it to her. I still do not know whose book that was, how it got there or how long has it been there. I believe God placed it there for a reason. I will have to wait and see. =)
What a blessed trip! With God's help, I gave out all my tracts and had the opportunity to tract my family members and share the gospel with my elder sister. God has taught me (I'm sure He will continue to teach me for I have much to learn) to trust and obey Him; to have faith in Him; to continue to serve Him faithfully; to hold on to His promises; to keep on praying without ceasing and to always rely on Him.
I will continue to pray for my family's salvation everyday. I love my family very, very much and I know God loves them more.
Hui Ling
